On Being Dependent Without Realization
Commentary, Life Lessons Comments (1)
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.- Abraham Lincoln
In life as in business, no matter what you tell someone, they won’t listen. In the end they have to come to their own realization. But what is that realization and where does it lie?
In the physiological dependent, yet not addicted, usually such realization occurs when something happens that affects the person’s living status: Like losing a job, or family leaving, or a divorce. Psychological dependence are not rare either: Video games, the need to drive fast, coffee every morning; Lose your glasses, and does it stop everything else in your life till it’s found? What about your purse or wallet? Does the world cease to function?
Not all these behaviors are destructive, after all, selling all your stuff and moving to Alaska is great and liberating, but some activities clearly are bad for you, and result in tragedy (and get you eat by bears. ex Timothy Treadwell,). Addiction to these things many things can be identified when lifestyle is changed to accommodate them: for instance picking an apartment close to a starbucks, or sleeping early so one can stay up late and play world of warcraft.
Many of us are also socially dependent; we go to bars and dinner parties to meet people because we can’t think of other ways to interact with them. May be it’s the Chess club, or the Girls night out, but again, if we were to not do these things, would we feel lonely, left out? not part of that particular circle?
As humans, we are naturally physiological and socially dependent. It’s how we interact with and manage the world we live in. It’s necessary (and it helps to blackmail us). ex. You could lose your job if you blow the whistle, and while you don’t care about your self, your kids are important.
Realization cannot be taught, only the information linked to it can be: If you wake up from a car crash you realize you should stop working so hard and leaving work tired, after all, next time you may not wake up. If you are not invited out except to drink, maybe these people are not your friends, especially when they don’t return your calls. When you spend $90 to fill your gas tank and can’t afford food, maybe your car is not so important. We all realize at this point something is wrong and needs to be changed, but at the same time, we risk moving from one dependence to another. The ever present circle of the cycles of addiction.
Much attention is given to stopping drug addiction (all types) and alcoholic addiction, yet we laugh at food, sex and internet addiction. It’s only funny till it happens to you. Want to see what you’re dependent on? Take a favorite activity or want and don’t do it. Then, try to replicate the feelings you feel while doing it with something else. You’ll be surprised.
And there is no way I’m giving up dancing ever again; not unless my legs are broken.
OceansOfThought @ May 27, 2008
This is a funny post (funny coincidental, not funny ha-ha); until recently I have had exactly two addictions in my life, coca-cola and email. recently (a week or two ago) I cancelled my home phone and internet service (I finally jumped into the current millenium and bought a cell phone). I purchased the high-speed internet service a year ago when I began my personal blog and needed, I repeat NEEDED, to scream at the world to listen to me.
Last month I concluded my postings, possibly for the summer, possibly forever, largely because I don’t want to waste the few good months of weather we have in wisconsin by being tethered to a machine. More importantly I was able to cancel the service because I just don’t need it anymore, I’ve said what I need to say. While I continue to consume super-human quantities of coca-cola, I have not missed my home internet service at all; I think some addictions are entirely situational, and can be sucessfully dismissed when they no longer serve a useful purpose.