On Being One of Two Boxes
The way for a young man to rise is to improve himself in every way he can, never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him. -Abraham Lincoln
Professionals, when they are in their element, can be curt and impatient, which is interesting, because when they go to see other professionals, say a doctor or a dentist, those professionals are no less dismissive to them.
This recent bit of knowledge came when there was the occasion to visit a Dr, then speaking to a friend (also a doctor). My friend commented on how these doctors thought she was an idiot, because her “work title” was something to the effect of “Grant Procurement Specialist. ”
The fact that she is a bonified medical doctor of Internal medicine never comes up -she doesn’t shove her ph.d into other peoples faces- until my friend gets annoyed at being talked down to and starts to address those dismissing her in a way which lets them know they’ve hit the wrong button.
I liken the shock of it to be the same as when people who speaks a different language looks when you suddenly answer them in their language.
Producing this shock has become my past-time, because while i may be a professional of Information systems, I have amassed knowledge of various other professional outlets including, accounting, finance, languages, religion and even (to my own shock) politics. In effect, I know enough to be dangerous.
But this recent realization, -the trip to the doctor- has made me re-evaluate again my dismissiveness towards others. I’ve decided, I don’t like the way it feels when it’s done to me, so i shall give my all to stop doing it to others.
Why did this even come up? I heard a speech about people who gripe at each other and I realized i would have handled it differently. I would have probably been just as dismissive to the complaint or taken a side. The speech i listened to today took no sides. It basically pointed out the griping was a symptom of a larger problem and that it took more courage to be a part of the solution.
I realized this fit my own philosophy, as i’ve defined it. “If you bring me a problem without a solution, I will make you the solution.” And that I should look for the uncleaned coffee pot.
So, next time as a leader you notice yourself being dismissive, or, suddenly people under you have decided to become the biggest pain in the ass remember this. They didn’t change over night, or are doing this to spite you. There are things they are afraid off and cannot expresses and blaming them isn’t the answer, thou you can warn them they are being asses.
The solution is to not have a specific talk about their problems, but to actually address the fact that this sudden change in their behavior is both not like them and probably isn’t their fault, just but outside pressures working against them. Remind them that they are responsible for not only their work, but how they treat their fellow co-worker, and finally, the organizations problems didn’t actually change but they have just become more intolerant of these same problems. [This is not an excuse to ignore the organizations problems.]
In the end, we are all two boxes: Part of the problem, or part of the solution. It’s not inspirational or motivational, but it is the truth; Inform your employees of this: Bring a solution along when you bring a problem or a gripe or just get past it and move on, and lets keep the dismissiveness to a minimum, else, we become the problem.
We all took a long time to be where we are professionally, we all deserve our due.
Sphere: Related ContentOceansOfThought @ April 2, 2008
Two things that stick out after reading this piece:
(1) A former manager in a past life once told me, over and over, that it’s not enough to complain about a situation — a responsible employee mentions a problem only when he has found a potential solution. I was too young and immature to listen to this advice until long after I left her employ, and were I to see her today, I’d thank her for the advice and apologize for not listening at the time. I’m glad to see you bring this up, because not enough people understand the concept.
(2) My stop-being-dismissive-toward-others moment came a few weeks ago, as I was reading one of my favorite sites, dedicated to cooking … I’m a Food Network junkie, but find myself watching less and less lately, because the shows all seem to be aimed at housewives who have no time to cook. The commenters on the site were ripping Rachel Ray, and I found myself nodding in agreement … until I remembered that, thanks to her show, I actually dared to cook things more complex than burgers and fries.
It’s so very easy to be dismissive. It takes work to remember not just where you are, but from whence you came.
Oh, I’ve got a lot to say about this particular subject. Unfortunately, my soapbox is in the shop for repairs, and my rantings will have to wait for another day. After all, what’s the point in speaking out if no one’s going to see me and listen?