On What a Difference the Truth Makes

Life Lessons Comments Off on On What a Difference the Truth Makes

 I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have.- Abraham Lincoln

I learned this week that being upfront, especially in a relationship doesn’t truly get heard, and often has to be repeated. When I started this week, I had a positive, if normal outlook.  It was, as always, a man’s outlook.  Being nice gets you far, telling the truth gets you further.  A few posts back, I had determined that all men lead lives of quiet desperation.  I must say also that the things we want out of life are also complicated beyond measure.   We bottle up inside, not understanding why we are unhappy.  But are you unhappy? Yes, why, you can’t make the other person listen. 

 

You don’t understand, why they don’t understand.

 

Why do we hear the things we want? Who knows. Makes us feel better, makes us not seem the cold callous ingrate?  The truth does hurt, but it’s better to keep with the truth, even so.

 

Sometimes people believe I cannot hear the truth.   What I cannot believe is that they have been lying to me for so long.  I feel pain at the truth, but less so that i’ve been made a fool off, or that i’ve been leading myself on.   I’ve resolved to tell the truth -mostly- in my personal life, even if that’s not what someone wants to hear.  

 

It truly is a sad realization to realize i’m now in their shoes, as I am telling others the same thing, and They are not listening, or devastated.  How do you say to someone that truly likes you, that you just want to move slowly? It has nothing about not liking them, but spending every waking moment talking and calling them is actually not who you are?  Does this fact alone make the person incompatible? Wrong?

 

Is my lack of bending what’s incorrect?  It isn’t.  Each relationship teaches us something; a cold hard fact about who we are and what we want. Expectation of an outcome 3 year down the road is day dreaming.  Having a series of long relationships is not being afraid of commitment, it’s learning.  Is sticking with one relationship and making your partner’s life a living hell because you are unhappy too? What’s worse, lying to yourself, or lying to them?

 

Having instated this truth factor, i’ve so far pissed off a friend, lost someone close, and yes, found myself writing after several days away. 

 

And yet, clear of mind and soul.

 

The point:  Don’t play with other people’s hearts, and don’t put up with people that play with yours.  Invest as much as they invest,; but at anytime it seems lopsided, get out if it cannot be resolved. You can live with the pain; and so can they. 

 

In the end, the truth will indeed set you free.  Tell your boss what you feel. Tell your coworker they are screwing up.  Keep your eye on the ball/prize and be honest to someone when you realize they aren’t listening, especially in a personal relationship.  It will save you. 

 

Just be human when you explain. 

OceansOfThought @ February 20, 2008